*Disclaimer: This post is about the every day frustrations of raising a one year old.  It is not meant a disrespect to those that have lost and is in no way saying that I do not love and appreciate both of my daughters equally.

I have been lost in my own thoughts lately.

Living in the rental is quiet and peaceful.  It is also very hard.  We are in a small space.  Lillian is right under my feet always and suddenly very ONE.  ONE as in throw a temper fit because she wants to play outside with the dog.  ONE as in trying to communicate but not having the words.  ONE.  ONE.  ONE.

It is beyond staggering to me that a lot of people reach this age and think, oh this is easy! Let’s have another baby.  For us, this is not easy.  Our girl is a willful, sweet, passionate, vibrant one year old that keeps me on my toes and at times my last nerve.

Here is an example of my day.

This morning Lillian and I needed to go to the store.  Sounds easy right? Take the ONE year old to the store?  Here is how you take the ONE year old to the store.

7:00 am Get Lily up, change her, put her in her highchair.  Sing and chat to avoid the screeching while she waits for you to get the cheerios and milk.  She screeches and kicks, making the cat run and hide on his perch.  Set out cheerios and milk, ask for a kiss, get one followed by her pointing her finger at the banana’s “THIS!” “THIS”

Would you like a banana?


Feed her a few chunks of banana

7:15 am:  Warm Keurig, kiss Matt goodbye, Lily screeches for more banana, until finally it is all gone. Take away all of her breakfast because she throws it on the floor out of anger that she finished the banana.   Wait until she stops crying and settles. Give breakfast back.  Repeat at least twice until the rest of breakfast is consumed.

7:30am:  Clean baby, tray, drink coffee, set baby on floor.  Let Charlie outside.  Listen to Lily screech and cry because she wants “OOOUT” with “Ch-eee Ch-ee.”  Let dog back in.  Wipe dogs paws.  Drink coffee. Eat cheerios with your back turned so to not have Lily see you eating and thus want yours even though she is full and finished eating.

7:45am: Discover Lillian has a dirty diaper.  Sing songs, attempt to use musical toy as distraction as she wriggles, turns, kicks, flails and arches to avoid getting changed. Nearly miss getting round house kicked as she decides clothing is torturous and designed to hurt babies.  Resign to not having her dressed right now and let her crawl around in her clean diaper while you wipe the sweat from your brow and drink the rest of your cold coffee.

8:00am Decide to leave by 9 am.  Brush your teeth, think about wetting your hair down and blow drying it.  Discover that Lillian is crawling at full speed towards the master bedroom where she will proceed to turn the computer on and off, on and off, on and off, until the motherboard over heats.  Chase baby, still diaper clad only and give her toys to play with.  Dodge flung dolly and she decides she did not want that and proceeds to her music toys instead.

8:15 am: Brush teeth and get Lily to sit and brush hers.  First allow her to do it herself, which is comprised of her chewing her tooth brush and sucking all the fluoride free tooth paste off of it.  Ask her for the tooth brush, when she tosses it on the ground, pick it up, rinse it and chase her down to properly clean her teeth.  Consider taking advil.

8:30am: Wash face with cat winding around my ankles.  Shoo cat.  Apply face cream with cat winding around my ankles.  Shoo cat.  Apply foundation with cat winding around my ankles.  Shoo cat with frustration.  Apply mascara and gloss with cat winding around ankles.  Relent and feed cat.  Realize the baby is quiet and find her happily reading books.  Take a deep breath.

8:45am Realize you are supposed to be leaving in 15 mins and baby is naked and you are still in your PJ’s and your hair is not done.  Put hair up in bun.   Find Lillian an outfit and put on game face as the naked baby wrestling is about to ensue.

9:15am: Baby is dressed and only one new bruise on Mama to show for it.  Let the dog out again (because he always has to go twice in the am.) Go into master bedroom to find baby has snuck in and has turned the computer off at least once.  Distract her with the walk in cupboard.  Try and find something clean to wear while she sits and takes ever single sock and hosiery item one by one out of your sock drawer.  Let her.

9:30am: Get on winter coat and boots.  Let dog in.  Pour a snack for Lillian and pack a water for the morning.  Lillian sees the snack and immediately wants to eat it.  Give it to her and pack a second snack.

9:45am: Standing in blistering heat in coat, pack her into her snow suit, hat, mitts and boots.

10:00am: Go to store.