Hush

I am 33+5 and sitting quietly.

A new need for quiet has washed over the house.  The phone rings off the hook, emails pour in and we sit quiet. Loved ones are concerned, want to know what is going on, how they can help or be a part of the journey.  We have withdrawn.

Not that I do not appreciate the love and support. Or the stress that others are experiencing on our behalf right now.  It just doesn’t have the same gravity.  I need quiet.  I am putting my needs before the masses.  Messages are piling up, friends are becoming disgruntled and it is not even bothering me.  My soul is quiet and peaceful, where it needs to be.  

Nesting has slowed.  A new peace has fallen over us both.  We feel as if we have done absolutely everything we could to prepare.  We have met all the requirements doctors have ever asked us to, we have done it all…twice over.  This baby girl is 25 months of preparation in the making, we are prepared for whatever shows itself next.

Sure we are scared.  Some points to tears.  To shaking bone rattling, all consuming terror. We cry, scream, hold each other and pray.  We watch stupid movies and distract ourselves where we can  all the while quietly  listening to our girl, listening to my body. What move will my liver make?  Where to next? Your guess is as good as mine.  38 weeks is the goal and every day that we move closer to it is a win.  Each and every single day is a win, a triumph, a glory.  For Beta.  For us.