Angry Day

What an angry grief day.  What a gross, hate filled, angry, frustrated grief day.  Wow.  This slammed in out of nowhere. 

It is May and 30 degrees Celsius plus humidity (I am Canadian, sorry I do not know what that is in Fahrenheit.)  We see this weather in July and August.  That is super hot for us this time of year.  Heat, pregnancy hormones, wanting this baby in my arms now, wanting Ava back, innocent parents with no concerns in the world out with their cute babies on a long weekend all culminating for one grumpy pregnant lady.  
It has been one year and three months since Ava died and it is still shocking to me how grief grabs you and demands your attention.  How uncontrollable and undeniable it is.  The fact that you can be having an okay day and then within one nights sleep, you are blinded with grief.  
So I sit and wait for it to ease.  And attempt to minimize the damage to myself until it does.