9 months

9 months old.

Wee girl is 9 months old today.  I can hardly begin to wrap my head around the fact she has now been here living with us longer than she was growing inside me.  She is an absolute doll.  I think back to 9 months ago, meeting her, the chaos of the hospital, the chaos of everyone’s excitement and our own. Choas of our caregivers watching for HELLP and the microscope I was under.   Then her colic.  Oh, her colic.   From 2 weeks until 10 weeks.  Pacing the halls, running on 2 hours sleep for days at a time, insomnia and anxiety ripping through us as we attempt to make sure our girl is okay. Unable to enjoy her, unable to even think.  Simply functioning.

And then the week before Christmas it broke.  And suddenly, we had this darling, sweet, soft, passionate and hilarious little girl. Each and every single month since 3 months I have said, Oh! I love this month!  This month is the BEST! Through growth spurts and teeth, vaccines, first illness and first emergency room visit…it has been the wildest ride.

I never thought our life would feel full again. Always missing. Always remembering. Yet, full.